How to Make the Most of Your Mental Health Day: Rest vs. True Restoration
Mental health days have become a popular idea—and for good reason. We all need time to pause, recharge, and step away from the demands of work, family, and daily stress. But somewhere along the way, the idea of a mental health day got tangled up with a simple notion: rest means doing nothing. Sleep in. Watch TV. Scroll on your phone. Cancel all plans.
Sometimes, that’s exactly what we need. But here’s the thing: rest doesn’t always restore you. And restoration doesn’t always mean rest.
Let’s unpack that, because it’s a distinction that can transform how you approach your mental health days—and your relationship to self-care in general.
Rest vs. Restoration: What’s the Difference?
Rest is often understood as a pause—a break from activity, responsibility, or effort. It might mean sleeping in, taking a nap, or sitting quietly on the couch. Rest is a vital part of health and healing, especially for physical recovery. We rest when we’re tired, burned out, or overwhelmed.
But rest can also be passive, even numbing. It’s about doing less, which can be both necessary and helpful—but it doesn’t always address what our nervous system really needs to feel safe, connected, or rebalanced.
Restoration, on the other hand, is about more than pause. Restoration is about returning to yourself—to your sense of safety, presence, energy, and groundedness. It’s about replenishing your internal resources, re-centering your mind and body, and reconnecting with what feels nourishing and sustaining.
Restoration can include rest—but it can also look like…
→ movement
→ creative expression
→ meaningful connection
→ or even completing a task that’s been weighing on you.
It’s about what actually helps you feel more whole.
For example: you might rest all day on the couch but still feel drained or restless afterward. Or you might spend your mental health day hiking in the fresh air, journaling, and cooking a nourishing meal—and feel deeply restored.
The key is that restoration meets your system’s needs on a deeper level than rest alone.
This distinction matters because many of us get stuck believing rest is the only answer when we feel exhausted. But if you push yourself to rest in a way that doesn’t feel right, you might end up more frustrated or disconnected.
Conversely, if you only equate restoration with doing something productive, you might miss out on the healing power of true rest.
Why Intention Is Everything
So how do you make a mental health day restorative, no matter what form it takes?
It starts with intention.
A simple but powerful question I invite my clients to ask themselves the night before or the morning of a mental health day is:
→ “What do I want to feel today?”
And alongside that:
→ “What does my body need?”
These questions help you get past autopilot and surface the deeper hunger behind your behaviors.
Maybe you want to feel peaceful, energized, playful, connected, or grounded. Maybe your body needs movement, calm, warmth, or nourishment. The answers to these questions become your guideposts—not a to-do list or a social media image of what a “perfect” day off looks like.
This practice of tuning in is a skill I cultivate deeply with my clients, especially through Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy. In IFS, you learn to recognize and listen to different parts of yourself, each with unique feelings, fears, and needs. On any given day, you might have one part that wants to hide under the covers, another that craves connection, and a third that’s restless and needs movement.
Restorative self-care means letting all those parts have a voice and finding a way to honor them.
When Distraction Isn’t Enough
I want to be clear about something important:
Mindless distraction is not the same as restoration.
It can feel good in the moment to scroll endlessly on your phone or binge-watch a show. But these behaviors usually don’t calm your nervous system or fill your internal well. Often, they’re ways of avoiding uncomfortable feelings or burnout—but they don’t leave you feeling recharged.
If you notice you feel tired, anxious, or empty after a day of distraction, that’s a sign you might need a different approach.
In my practice, I also use EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy to help clients become more fluent in their body’s signals. These modalities teach you to notice the subtle ways your body is trying to communicate what it needs—whether that’s movement, breath, connection, or rest. Getting better at that internal dialogue makes it easier to design mental health days that truly restore you.
Structure and Space: Finding Balance
Restoration doesn’t have to be totally unstructured, especially if blank space feels overwhelming. For some people, having no plan at all can spark anxiety or a feeling of being “lost.”
A helpful way to approach your mental health day is with a light plan—a few gentle bullet points that leave room to breathe. For example:
Go for a short walk outside
Cook a warm meal you enjoy
Call or text a supportive friend
Then leave plenty of open time for yourself to pivot based on how you feel as the day unfolds.
This combination of structure and spaciousness can help you stay connected to your needs without pressure.
Remember: restoration is a conversation with your system, moment to moment—not a rigid schedule.
Honoring What You’re Feeling in a Challenging World
It’s no secret that the current socio-political climate can be exhausting, painful, and deeply triggering for many of us. Whether it’s the constant barrage of news, systemic injustices, or personal experiences of uncertainty and loss, these realities impact our mental and emotional well-being.
Sometimes, a mental health day isn’t about doing or fixing anything. It’s about allowing yourself to simply feel—whatever that is. Grief, anger, sadness, confusion, or even numbness. Giving yourself permission to sit with those feelings without judgment is itself an act of restoration.
In moments like these, restoration might mean crying it out, journaling your thoughts, or just being silent with your feelings.
It’s a way to honor your humanity amid overwhelming external pressures.
And that is both necessary and healing.
When Rest Feels Unsafe
I also want to acknowledge that for many people—especially those with histories of trauma, chronic anxiety, or ADHD—slowing down can feel unfamiliar or even unsafe.
Our nervous systems can get stuck in patterns where busyness feels like safety, and rest triggers guilt or panic. This is completely normal and makes sense given the brain’s survival wiring.
If rest feels scary or impossible, be gentle with yourself. You don’t have to force it. Instead, start with small, manageable moments of restoration: a few deep breaths, a short walk, a soothing cup of tea. Over time, you can build up to longer or deeper experiences.
When clients are ready, trauma therapy intensives can be a powerful way to support this process. In these focused sessions, I combine EMDR, IFS, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy to help clients safely access and re-regulate their nervous systems, build new internal capacities, and meet their needs more fully.
Learn more about therapy intensives here.
The Ultimate Goal: Meeting Yourself
If there’s one thing I want you to take away, it’s this:
A mental health day isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about meeting yourself.
You don’t need to earn a break by burning out. You don’t need to prove you’re worthy by checking boxes. You just need to listen—and respond—with kindness and curiosity.
So as you plan your next mental health day (or your next moment of self-care), ask yourself:
What do I want to feel today?
What does my body need?
Let those questions guide you. Let your day be about restoration—not just rest.
Looking for a trauma therapist in Washington, D.C. who specializes in therapy intensives?
It’s time to deeply restore your nervous system and meet your whole self.
(Washington, D.C. and Virginia residents only)
About the author
Margot Lamson, LICSW, is a licensed psychotherapist offering in-person and virtual therapy in Washington, D.C. and Virginia. She is trained in multiple trauma-focused approaches, including EMDR, IFS, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy to support clients seeking meaningful and lasting healing. Margot also provides intensives, combining evidence-based and holistic techniques, to help clients achieve significant progress and feel better faster in a focused, supportive setting.
