Anxiety and ADHD: Why They Often Go Together—and How Therapy Can Help Untangle Them
If you live with ADHD and find yourself constantly anxious, you’re not imagining the connection. The overlap between anxiety and ADHD is more than just common—it’s baked into the way ADHD brains function. And yet, many people are left feeling confused, overwhelmed, or misdiagnosed, wondering: Why can’t I relax, even when nothing is technically wrong? Why does everything feel so urgent all the time?
As a trauma therapist who works extensively with ADHDers—diagnosed or not—I see this all the time. Clients often come in asking for help with their anxiety, only to discover that the root of their worry isn’t just about the future or perfectionism. It’s about how their nervous system is wired to process the world.
Let’s explore how ADHD and anxiety interact—and how trauma-informed therapy (including EMDR, IFS, and therapy intensives) can help you find clarity, calm, and lasting relief.
Why ADHD and Anxiety Are So Often Intertwined
On the surface, ADHD and anxiety can look very similar: racing thoughts, distractibility, restlessness, difficulty sleeping, and emotional overwhelm. But they’re not the same thing—and understanding how they overlap can help you better support yourself or a loved one.
1. Living With Uncertainty
ADHD brains often struggle with executive function—those behind-the-scenes processes like planning, remembering, and organizing that help life feel manageable.
When your internal “planner” is inconsistent, everything starts to feel a little uncertain. Did I remember to email that client? Will I forget that meeting? Am I dropping the ball and don’t even know it?
Uncertainty is a breeding ground for anxiety. And for people with ADHD, that uncertainty isn’t occasional—it’s constant.
2. Emotional Sensitivity and Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD)
Many ADHDers are deeply sensitive, emotionally attuned, and quick to pick up on social cues—sometimes too quick. That same sensitivity can lead to Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, a common experience where even minor criticism or perceived rejection feels excruciating. You might obsess over an awkward comment or over-apologize for something small.
This isn’t about being dramatic. It’s about a nervous system that reacts intensely to perceived threats to connection, safety, or self-worth.
3. The Toll of Being Misunderstood
Many of my clients grew up feeling like the “difficult” one: too loud, too forgetful, too disorganized, too emotional. Even if they didn’t know they had ADHD, they received the message that something was wrong with them.
This can lead to a chronic internalized anxiety: If I’m not on top of everything, I’ll mess it all up. I can’t trust myself to relax. This is especially true for women and people socialized as female, who are often expected to be organized, emotionally contained, and self-sacrificing—all things ADHD brains can struggle with.
The ADHD Brain Isn’t Broken—It’s Just Regulated Differently
One of the biggest myths about ADHD is that it’s a deficit of attention. But in reality, it’s a regulation issue. People with ADHD can focus beautifully—sometimes too much. It’s just not always within their conscious control.
You might hyperfocus on a creative project for hours but find it excruciating to answer a single email. You might be flooded with ideas at midnight but feel frozen during the day. It’s not about laziness or a lack of willpower. It’s about a brain that regulates attention and emotion differently—more like a symphony of intensity than a steady beat.
When we name this for what it is—a regulation challenge, not a moral failing—we start to shift the shame that often fuels anxiety. And that’s where therapy comes in.
How Trauma-Informed Therapy Can Help
You’ve probably already tried strategies like to-do lists, planners, maybe even medication—and those tools can help. But if you’re still feeling stuck in self-doubt, chronic stress, or a nervous system that’s always “on,” deeper therapy work may be what’s missing.
Here’s how I work with ADHD and anxiety using an integrated, body-based approach:
Internal Family Systems (IFS): Working With Your Parts
IFS helps you explore the different parts of yourself—the perfectionist, the avoider, the people-pleaser, the anxious planner—and understand how they’re trying to help you. Often, anxiety isn’t just a symptom. It’s a protector. It developed for a reason.
By getting to know these parts with compassion, you can begin to shift from self-criticism to collaboration. You start to trust that your system knows what it’s doing—it just needs more support.
EMDR: Processing the Roots of Overwhelm
EMDR helps target the past experiences that laid the groundwork for your current anxiety. That teacher who embarrassed you. The parent who called you lazy. The years of masking your ADHD to fit in.
By processing these memories in a safe, structured way, your nervous system begins to update. You stop reacting to today as if it were yesterday. You begin to feel safer being yourself.
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Working With the Body
Because so much of ADHD and anxiety is held physically—in tight shoulders, racing hearts, shallow breaths—working with the body is essential.
We’ll notice together how activation shows up, how to regulate it, and how to feel safe even in stillness.
You might discover that you breathe more easily. Speak more clearly. Feel more grounded in your own body and truth.
Why Therapy Intensives Are Ideal for ADHD Minds
Traditional weekly therapy isn’t always a great fit for ADHDers. The 50-minute format can feel rushed, disjointed, or hard to build momentum with. You may spend half the session warming up—and just as things get deep, the clock runs out.
Therapy intensives change that.
In 90-minute or longer sessions, we get to bypass the slow warm-up and stay with the good stuff. There's more space to settle your nervous system, process deeper material, and leave feeling more complete—not cracked open.
Intensives are especially helpful if you:
Struggle to build consistency week to week
Want to make progress faster
Feel like you keep “starting over” in traditional therapy
Have big emotions or complex trauma that need more time and care
Are managing a full life and prefer fewer, deeper sessions
Learn more about therapy intensives here!
What Progress Can Look Like
Clients often come to me feeling tangled in shame, racing thoughts, and relentless self-doubt. But over time, they begin to say things like:
“I said no without over-explaining—and I didn’t spiral afterward.”
“I finally feel like I’m working with my brain, not against it.”
“I don’t dread my inbox anymore. I can approach it with a plan.”
“I’m not afraid of feeling anymore—I know how to ride the wave.”
The goal of therapy isn’t to become a perfectly focused person. It’s to help your unique brain and body find regulation, confidence, and calm.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Wired Differently, and That’s OK
If you resonate with this, you’re not lazy or broken—you’re navigating a brain that’s wired for intensity, not predictability. The struggle isn’t a lack of focus, but a challenge with regulating it consistently, especially when tasks feel boring, overwhelming, or disconnected from meaning.
That’s where trauma-informed, neurodivergent-affirming therapy can help.
Through modalities like EMDR, IFS, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, we can gently explore the roots of chronic worry, build self-trust, and help your system find more balance. Whether you’re looking for weekly therapy or a focused intensive to jumpstart change, I’d love to support your process.
Ready to feel less tangled and more grounded?
Let’s work together to help your nervous system settle, your mind focus, and your inner world feel more manageable.
Looking for a trauma therapist in Washington, D.C. who understands the overlap between ADHD and anxiety?
Take your first step towards therapy that works with your brain—not against it.
(Washington, D.C. and Virginia residents only)
About the author
Margot Lamson, LICSW, is a licensed psychotherapist offering in-person and virtual therapy in Washington, D.C. and Virginia. She is trained in multiple trauma-focused approaches, including EMDR, IFS, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy to support clients seeking meaningful and lasting healing. Margot also provides intensives, combining evidence-based and holistic techniques, to help clients achieve significant progress and feel better faster in a focused, supportive setting.
