Appeasing isn’t a personality flaw—it’s a survival response shaped by past environments that demanded calm, compliance, or emotional caretaking. When that response becomes chronic, it can leave your body tight, your voice muted, and your needs perpetually postponed. Gentle somatic tools help widen your window of choice so you’re not reacting from old conditioning. Parts work and EMDR offer deeper repair by updating old fears about what happens when you stop over-accommodating. As your system feels safer, boundaries stop feeling dangerous and start feeling natural.

If you’ve ever said “yes” when you wanted to say “no,” apologized when you weren’t at fault, or felt like your worth depended on making others happy—you might be caught in the cycle of people-pleasing. At first glance, being accommodating and easygoing seems like a good thing. After all, who doesn’t want to be liked? But when you’re constantly prioritizing others at the expense of your own needs, people-pleasing can lead to burnout, resentment, and a deep sense of disconnection from yourself.

As a therapist specializing in trauma recovery, I meet in-person and virtually with many young professionals, creatives, and those with ADHD characteristics throughout Washington, DC, Alexandria, VA, and Arlington, VA who struggle with these patterns. They’re hardworking, successful, and deeply caring—but they also feel stuck, drained, and unsure of how to stop seeking validation from others.

Let’s break down why people-pleasing happens, how it’s actually a trauma response, and how therapy—especially intensives using EMDR, IFS, and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy—can help you finally reclaim your voice.