Why EMDR Is a Better New Year Reset Than Resolutions
Every January, we’re invited to reinvent ourselves.
New goals. New habits. New routines. A “new you.”
And yet, year after year, many people notice the same thing: despite genuine motivation and good intentions, they end up feeling stuck in familiar patterns — reacting the same way, doubting themselves in the same moments, and feeling frustrated that they “know better” but still don’t feel different.
If that sounds familiar, it’s not a failure of willpower or discipline. It’s a sign that the kind of change you’re trying to create isn’t something resolutions are designed to address.
This is where EMDR therapy offers a very different — and often more effective — kind of New Year reset.
Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Don’t Stick
Most resolutions focus on behavior:
“I’ll be more confident.”
“I’ll stop overreacting.”
“I’ll finally set boundaries.”
“I won’t let my anxiety run my life.”
But behavior doesn’t exist in a vacuum.
Our reactions, habits, and self-talk are shaped by past experiences — especially experiences where we learned something about safety, worth, or belonging. Even when we logically know those old lessons no longer apply, our nervous system doesn’t always get the memo.
That’s why so many people find themselves thinking:
Why do I still feel like this if I know I’m capable?
Why does this one situation set me off every time?
Why do I freeze, shut down, or overthink even when nothing bad is happening?
Resolutions ask us to override these responses with effort. Trauma-informed therapy asks a different question:
What happened that taught your system to respond this way in the first place?
Knowing Better vs. Feeling Different
One of the most common frustrations I hear from clients is:
“I understand why I feel this way — but it doesn’t actually change how I react.”
That gap between insight and felt change is where EMDR therapy becomes especially powerful.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) works with how memories are stored in the brain. When something overwhelming, painful, or chronically stressful happens — especially earlier in life — the memory can remain “stuck,” carrying the same emotional charge and beliefs into the present.
So even if you know you’re safe now, competent now, worthy now, your system may still be responding as if the past is happening again.
EMDR doesn’t ask you to push past that response. Instead, it helps the brain update old memory networks so that the past actually feels like it’s in the past.
That’s a fundamentally different kind of reset.
EMDR as a New Year Reset (Not a Resolution)
Unlike resolutions, EMDR doesn’t rely on motivation alone. It works at the level where change actually happens: memory, emotion, and meaning.
Rather than saying: “This year, I’ll try harder not to react.”
EMDR supports your system in learning: “I don’t need to react this way anymore.”
That distinction matters.
When EMDR is done well — and at a pace that respects your nervous system — clients often notice changes like:
emotional triggers feeling less intense
familiar situations no longer hijacking their reactions
a quieter inner critic
more flexibility instead of automatic patterns
Not because they forced change, but because something inside finally shifted.
Why an Integrative Approach Matters
It’s important to name something honestly: EMDR alone isn’t always enough, especially for people with complex histories, chronic stress, or highly protective nervous systems.
Many clients come to therapy saying they’ve tried EMDR before and felt:
overwhelmed
stuck
emotionally flooded
or like they “couldn’t get anywhere”
That doesn’t mean EMDR wasn’t right for them. Often, it means it needed more support and integration.
This is why I practice EMDR alongside other trauma-informed modalities, including Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy.
→ EMDR + IFS (Parts Work)
IFS helps us understand that reactions don’t come from a single “problem part” of us, but from protective parts that learned how to keep us safe.
When EMDR is combined with IFS:
protective parts are acknowledged rather than bypassed
resistance is understood as wisdom, not avoidance
processing happens with more consent and less force
This is especially important for people who feel self-critical for being “stuck” or who have strong internal pressure to do therapy “right.”
→ EMDR + Sensorimotor Psychotherapy
Sensorimotor work helps track what’s happening in the body, without forcing intense reliving of the past.
This allows EMDR to:
move at a tolerable pace
increase nervous system regulation
support clients who tend to dissociate, shut down, or intellectualize
For many people, this combination makes therapy feel safer, steadier, and more effective.
A New Year Without Pushing
One of the biggest differences between EMDR and resolution-based change is how much pressure is involved.
Resolutions often come with an implicit message: “If you don’t follow through, you’ve failed.”
Trauma-informed therapy takes a different stance: “Your system adapted for a reason.”
Change doesn’t come from overriding those adaptations. It comes from understanding and updating them.
That’s why EMDR is often especially helpful at the start of a new year — not because it promises a fresh start, but because it helps clear the emotional residue of what’s been carried forward year after year.
Why EMDR Intensives Can Be a Powerful New Year Option
For some people, the idea of spending months circling the same issues in weekly therapy feels exhausting. This is where EMDR intensives can be a meaningful alternative.
Intensives offer:
extended time (90 minutes or longer)
fewer interruptions to processing
space to build safety and momentum
less pressure to “wrap things up” before the clock runs out
When you’re working with trauma or deeply ingrained patterns, having enough time matters.
EMDR intensives can be especially helpful if:
you’re navigating a transition or life shift
you want focused work without dragging things out
weekly therapy hasn’t created the movement you hoped for
the idea of stopping mid-processing feels dysregulating
For many clients, intensives feel less like “doing therapy harder” and more like giving their system the time it actually needs.
Learn more about therapy intensives here.
You Don’t Need a New You — You Need an Updated Nervous System
If the New Year brings pressure to reinvent yourself, it can be grounding to remember this:
You don’t need to become someone else.
You don’t need more discipline, more insight, or more willpower.
You may simply need help releasing what no longer belongs in the present.
EMDR isn’t about erasing the past or reliving it endlessly. It’s about allowing your system to recognize that things have changed — and that you don’t have to keep responding as if they haven’t.
That kind of reset doesn’t come from a resolution.
It comes from doing the work in a way that honors how change actually happens.
Thinking About EMDR This Year?
If therapy has been on your mind as the year turns — whether that means starting for the first time, returning after a break, or trying a different approach — EMDR may be worth considering.
Especially if:
you’re tired of understanding without relief
you notice the same emotional patterns repeating
you want change that feels real, not forced
you’re curious about a more integrative, trauma-informed approach
Therapy doesn’t have to start with a resolution.
Sometimes, it starts by making space for something new to emerge.
Working With Us
If you’re curious about EMDR and wondering whether it might be a fit for you this year, our practice offers a thoughtful, integrative approach to trauma therapy — whether you’re just starting therapy or returning with a clearer sense of what you need.
I work with clients using EMDR alongside Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, with a strong focus on pacing, nervous system regulation, and helping people move beyond insight into real, felt change. I also offer EMDR intensives for clients who want deeper, more focused work with the support of extended session time.
Learn more about me (Margot) here!
Molly is also trained in both EMDR and IFS and has a particular strength in working with perfectionism, self-criticism, and high-achieving clients who feel stuck despite doing “all the right things.” Her style is warm, grounded, and deeply attuned, and she brings a steady, collaborative presence to the work.
Whether you’re looking for ongoing therapy or interested in intensives, we aim to create a space where change doesn’t have to be forced — and where there’s enough time, support, and care for meaningful healing to unfold.
If therapy has been on your mind as the year turns, we’d be glad to help you explore what the next step might look like.
Looking for a therapist in Washington, D.C. who specializes in a more effective nervous-system reset than resolutions?
Take your first step towards real, sustainable change in 2026.
(Washington, D.C., Virginia, and Maryland residents only)
About the author
Margot Lamson, LCSW-C is a licensed therapist with over 14 years of experience supporting clients in Washington, DC and Virginia. She specializes in trauma recovery, anxiety, ADHD, and relational challenges, and uses evidence-based approaches like EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Sensorimotor Psychotherapy to help clients reduce anxiety, build self-compassion, and heal from the effects of past experiences. At Margot Lamson Therapy, she is committed to providing compassionate, expert care both in-person and online for clients across DC, Maryland, and Virginia.
